1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
