I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
