Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
