you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
May the power of my ass compel you!!
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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