trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
