Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
