Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Randomize
