I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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