What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
