The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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