At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
