is wine microwaveable?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
