i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
