I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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