no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
