why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
either way he was missing a nipple.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
