umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
