So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize