I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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