none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
