Screwed.edu
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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