Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
