i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
