All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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