im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
