11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
