But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
