so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
