if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm gonna fight the coyote
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
