my soul wont recognize me after tonight
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
