If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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