that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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