Porn is love you can see.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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