I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
