My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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