what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
