ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
