He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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