if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
did i just pee glitter
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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