I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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