i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
