His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
