Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
