she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
