At least make sure they are 18
Why
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
