I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I wish i was in the wii world.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
