no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
