why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
