OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Need sex. Gaining weight.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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