New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
