Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Randomize
