When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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